The Joke's On Me

empty this heart.

sadness so warm;

repeated pain;

numbing desire.

to be loved

would be so

devine.

loneliness,

my friend.

life is laughing.

depression speaks

with dirty words

lined with smirks

and cruel eyes,

poking and prodding

at a heart willing itself

to beat once

then die.

it curls, hugs,

squeezes.

too hard.

suffocating tears

without reason.

oh sadness

revolves on itself,

evolves into more.

it dissolves me.

stitches of release.

the warnings never...

do they ever?

communicate.

handshakes,

wistful smiles,

bursting heart.

the beginning

always has

a bitter end.

a song, quicksand.

always in between,

existing elsewhere;

sinking, searching.

maybe one day

this will succumb. 

just once

will i ever

get it right.